


You were always the reason

by The1unknown



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-06-20 03:49:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 15,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15525405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The1unknown/pseuds/The1unknown
Summary: just a little story about how Justin and clay get together I also posted this on wattpad





	1. Part 1

where do I even begin there is so much that has happened lately its hard to choose but I guess I'll start with Hannah Baker. the most amazing beautiful loving caring joyful person I have ever met always thinking of everyone else always there with the biggest smile on her face, always there with her hand out to pick you up off the ground. she never thought she was better then anyone she was the type of girl that could make you smile even is the worst of times, but no one ever could have seen what was right in front of them even me she was my best friend and I loved her I really did but I failed her I never seen the signs I never saw her cries for help until it was too late I could have saved her life I could have helped her in some way somehow but I was too late I lost Hannah I lost my chance to save her to tell her how much I loved her how much we all loved her how much we all cherished her. from the moment I found out she killed her self I felt like the sun just went out and my world with nothing but darkness I was depressed, scared and ashamed I let this happen I was too stupid to see everything that she was going through but what made it worse was when I got Hannah's tapes and i finally knew what had happened for this world the lose its biggest brightest joyful face it has ever had I was fucking pissed I was pissed that I let her down let her go through this alone but also at Justin Zach Alex Jessica all of them everything they did everything they let happen and kept quiet about it all how can you be so curl so uncomfortable in your own skin to do those things. but I was more ashamed of what I did we all were fucking assholes we all never deserved Hannah we all pushed her to commit suicide but she is gone now nothing any of us can do about it but try better in the future try our god damn best to never let this happen to any of us again before Hannah we never really knew each other but because of Hannah and her tapes we all started to get closer to the point I could call Justin freaking foley a friend but that is a story for a later date...


	2. Part 2

Now on to justin fucking foley i couldnt stand this guy i couldnt deal with him every time I would see him i get this undeinalabe feeling of wanting to punch him in his stupid narcissistic jock face his ego was bigger than the fucking moon he has had his head blown up by all these girls in this school it was unreal but he had his issues that he hid so good from his mother being a junkie to the beatings from seth his mothers boyfriend to bryce pulling him in with his every word every time he said brother every time bryce would buy justin something justin would get sucked rightbackin to the point he let bryce do what he did to jessica I know now how much he is actully hurting I know how much pain he is in all the time I know what he feels because I feel the same but I never thought we would be as close as we were how much we both would come to relie on one and another how much justin really needed something stable something he could be proud of.. but let me start from the text that started it all for us I remember it like it happen yesterday

**FLASHBACK**

-GROUP CHAT-

 

Justin: goodbye guys I so sorry I failed and let you all down from Hannah to jess to all of you but you won't have to worry anymore ill be gone and jess I still love you no matter what 

 

Alex: Justin what are you talking about???

 

zach: Justin man where the hell are you going??

 

Jess: Justin I love you too but what the hell is going through your head right now??!?!

 

I am lying in my bed reading my comic and my phone starts to go crazy I choose to ignore it the first few times but then it kept ringing and ringing something told me to answer the phone just pick it up I finally broke after the 20th time it rings I seen 5 texts and 15 missed calls from jess Alex Zach and Justin and 12 voicemail I decide to listen to the voicemails first 

1st voicemail: clay hey its Zach give me a call bye  
2nd voicemail: clay its Zach again I really need you to pick up the phone buddy give me a call  
3rd voicemail: goddamit clay pick up your damn phone its Zach

4th voicemail: its Alex call me back when you get this

5th voicemail: clay this is important I need you to call me or jess or Zach   
6th voicemail: clay its jess have you talked to Justin he sent us all a text I am getting a little-worried about him gives me a call please I am scared clay  
7th voicemail: Jensen you fucking asshole pick up your fucking phone  
8th voicemail: Jensen its Justin I just wanted to say this in person but can't find a way to say this but I am sorry clay I never meant to put any of you through all of this I know now you really did care about Hannah and I am sorry I broke her heart and hurt her the way that I did I really hope you can forgive me but this will be the last time you hear from me but clay do me this one thing keep watch over jess for me will you she deserves so much more then this keep her safe clay goodbye...

 

-GROUP CHAT-

Clay: what the hell are you talking about Justin what are you even saying you need to call one of us right the fuck now foley!!

 

Justin: ill be ok guys I promise Jensen I meant what I said you all will be fine without me I promise ill be save I want you guys to live your lives 

 

Jess: Justin Foley you are not leaving you cant leave if this is because of what happened earlier I am sorry I love you, Justin

Zach: Justin dude just stop we can talk this out you don't need to be alone right now 

Alex: Justin I may not like you but dude if you do not start answerings us I swear I'll have my dad track your ass down and put you in a padded room and throw away the damn key 

after a good five mins i say fuck it and i run out of my room down the stairs and out my front door i dont know where i am running to there is only one place i can think of and that was not a place for justin right now, i hear my mom yelling after me but i just keep running i run until i cant feel my legs until i am standing at bryces front door i start to raise me hand to the door but my phone goes off with a text from justin 'goodbye' i turn around and i start running again i dont know why i dont know where i just run until i drop to my knees in the middle of an ally out of breath "clay do you really think you could save him you couldnt even save me clay you cant save anyone" i turn around and the voice came from hannah why is she showing up now after all this time i look at her with the most hateful look "how the hell was i suppose to save you hannah you never said anything to anyone you never asked for help you hid it justin is asking for help even if he wont admit i ill do what i can to help him even if you dont want admit he wants help if he didnt need saving he would have left and not said a fucking word tyo anyone but he texted us he called me i have to help" i look down knowing hannah needed me too " clay you cant save everyone and thats ok do you believe justin really needs saving" i raise me head and look at her with tears in my eyes "hannah i am sorry but i have to try" and she sits next to me and i can almost feel the warmth coming from her " then think clay where would justin go where would justin first go before he leaves town he needs a way out of town right so where would he go think clay" i look up at the darkning sky and i just stare i dont know justin i never did so where would he go the first place he knew he could get what he needs bryce no i was there it was all quite and dark inside he couldnty be there. Jessica but she would have called if he3 showed up Zach's nope hes the same way he would call. it hits me like a semi-truck his mothers house his mother is never sober so she won't even notice her boyfriend won't notice either they both are freaking junkies probably high right now so I look to Hannah and she has that smile on her face the one the lights up a dark pitch black room " thank you, Hannah"


	3. Part 3

as I am running to Justin mothers I call Zach "clay thank god have you found him yet I been trying his phone for hours now " Zach sounded tired "no but I am checking one more place have you hear from jess and Alex?" I have to admit I sounded just as worried " Alex called said he was with jess do you want me to come with you I can pick you up we can go look together" I thought about his offer but declined " Nah Zach hey i have another call ill meet you at Jessica call me if you hear from him"I hang up before he could answer as I near his mothers apartment I look at the rundown apartment building and my heart hurt more for Justin how could his mother let him live in a place like this. as I walk through the front door I see a rat run down the stairs I didn't know what apartment was Justin's I see the row of mailboxes on the wall if it was a snake it would have bit me in my face one mailbox stood out it was the only one missing the lock but in big deep scratches it said foley I start up the stairs to the apartment i hear a door slam then running feet I put my guard up ready for anything. this guy with a hoodie up over his head comes running by he knocks in to me but keeps going "what the fuck is your problem" I yell started back up the stairs to Justin's apartment I finally reach his apartment in a dim lite hallway I swallow the lump in my throat and I knock praying that Justin opens the door but an old tired looking woman answers "excuse me, ma'am, is Justin here??" the woman looks a little scared but quickly shakes her head and closes the door. "well thanks anyways!" I take out my phone and text Zach 'not here headings the jess's now be there in 20' for some reason my mind can't stop racing thinking of all the things that could have happened to Justin, to be honest, it scared me I don't know why I guess its because I let another person down let another light burn out or maybe I failed to save another one of my friends lives I start walking to jessica's. she can't be taking this too well right now I really believe her that she does love him but she also wants what is best for him stuck in my thoughts I get knocked to the ground again "mother...' i start to say but hear " what the hell are you doing here Jensen"I look up and I see Justin and my heart stops I don't know what came over me but i jump up anyways "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU HUH JUSTIN YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING SCARING PEOPLE LIKE THAT WHAT THE ACTUALLY FUCK" before either of us knew what was happening I just said fuck it and I grabbed him and pulled him in to a hug he tried pulling away but I was now about to let go yet he finally relaxs into the hug and I hear him whisper "thank you clay" and I smile "alright this is getting really gay jensen" he says with a hint of a smile still on his lips but I laugh it off "just glad I don't have to tell jess youre gone and your safe" I start to pull out my phone. "NO, clay just no" he looking a little scared "Justin what am i suppose to do I cant just sit back and watch her worry and cry about you she love you and she is scared to death I got Alex and Zach with her but I am not sure how long they can keep her mind off of u right now I have to tell her" i look at him and he is legit shaking "can we just take a walk i don't feel like being around them right now clay i let jess down i didn't stop bryce when i had the chanceand every time i am around her she has to remember i was not there to save her so can we please just go somewhere else but there" i could see the hurt in his eyes black circles under his eyes also tell me he has not been sleeping that great his hair is dirty and untammed like it normally is against my better judgement i agree " fine but we are going to my house you need a shower and some sleep then we are going to talk about this whole thing no excuses" he just shakes his head defected


	4. Part 4

"We have to be quit my parents are asleep go take a shower ill make us some food there are clean towels in the bathroom closet" I walk over to my dresser and grab some old shorts and a white t and I hand them over to him "I have clothes Jensen " i just put the clothes down on the bed " don't be a dick take the clothes go shower I am going to make us something to eat you better be here when I get back you hear me" I said I didn't realise I was the one being a dick but who wouldn't he was an asshole and scared me to death with this little stunt and ill be a monkeys uncle if I let him off easy for this."yes sir" with a fake salute laughing walking in the bathroom I quietly go downstairs to find something for us I pull out my phone as I walk into the kitchen and text zach 'hey my mom wants me home she is pissed I ran out the house without telling her where I was going tell jess to call me if she needs anything' I set my phone on the table and look in the fridge and see the left overs from dinner with a sticky note on them 'your grounded we will talk in the morning love you xx' really mom you yell at me on a sticky note than say love you like really mom I laugh I pop the plates in the micowave while I am waiting I check my phone for a reply 'ok man ill keep you posted it' i sigh a breath of relief he didn't ask any questions I hear the shower turn off so I grab our food out of the micowave and head up stairs i open my bedroom door to justin sitting on my couch head in his hands i set his food in front of him "look justin i know shit has been hell for you and for every one but what were you thinking you just can'y text people bye and then the voicemail you left me that shit gave me a heart attack i don't know why but i could not get you out my head since i heard that i do forgive you justin we all do we all care about you we can't lose anyone else" i feel the tears building but i keep them at bay for now and i look at justin, he is just staring at me i thought i seen some tears coming down his cheeks but he swiped his face to fast to double check he gets up grabs his stuff and heads to the door i never moved so quick in my life i stand there with my hand on his shoulder getting ready for the punch to the face but it never come instead he puts his hand on mine and starts to cry i know justin freaking foley crying i wouldn't believe it either if i was not seeing it my self right now "clay i am sorry i never meant for this to happen every time i turn around i hurt some one i cant keep doing it clay i have to leave i cant let this keep happening to the ones i care about i gotta get away from seth from bryce from everyone but i just couldn't bring me self to leave this place behind me and then it hit me there was one reason why i couldn't leave" we sit back down on my bed " i know you couldn't leave with out seeing your mom and jess again and thats ok its understandable" he just shakes his head with a smile "no jack ass you were the reason you were the first person i called i didn't call jess i didn't call my mom i called you jensen you were the one i was worried about leaving behind" i just look at him in shock i felt this pull but i just push it away "justin i...goodnight justin" i crawl into my bed and roll over to the wall food forgotten on my desk


	5. Chapter 5

"clay god damn Jensen did you not just hear what I said you are not going to bed after that for fuck sakes!!" he yells standing up and walks towards me "Justin shut hell up my parents are down the hall sleeping and secondly we are not talking about this right now you need sleep and so do i we will talk about this in the morning" he walks closer to me my heart starts to beat faster I feel my cheeks getting red hot I look at him and I see something mischief in his eyes and the smirk gets it all away clear as day " Justin I am going to bed its late"I look at the clock on my end table, i was right 2:54 am "fine your couch is uncomfortable so I am lying in bed with you so against the wall you go" there is the god damn smirk the one sent from the gods this guy just can not stop being so fucking sexy can he...wait what? what the fuck I am I thinking Justin Foley is not fucking hot but I still move over against the wall both of us in this bed is uncomfortable we are unable to not touch each other Justin takes off his shirt grinning why the hell is he fucking grinning he lies on his back arms behind his head looking up at the ceiling and clear as day I see why jess and Hannah and all the other girl fall for him he can make even the stupidest thing hot here i go again why am i thinking like this its Justin foley why would i be thinking about him like this "clay stop thinking and go to bed your room is hot enough without you freaking out right now" umm sorry I can open the window or something " I say getting ready to stand up but justins hand goes on my arm " just lay down "I lie on my back with him and he moves a little closer until his leg is touching mine but I pay no mind to him and dozes off to sleep.  
"clay wake up clay"I just roll over ignoring the voice that I wanna punch "CLAY!!" I jolt up ready for anything but no one is there no one is there Justin is just looking at me with a confused face "did I do something wrong??" Justin says a little worried "no just a dream" I lay back down and he puts his arm around me for some reason I let his arm stay there it I felt safe there i look at him again thanking whoever was listening that Justin was back to sleep so I am lying here thinking about what Justin had said not that long ago an hour actually and I hear it again" are you really trying to think of an excuse for you letting Justin sleep in bed with you with his arm wrapped around you, you already know what the only answer is clay just admit it maybe you both can be happy" I look at my desk chair and there she is again hannah baker "we both know we do not deserve to be happy we have hurt so many people he is just tired needs some good sleep in a good bed that is all this is"I whisper to her trying not to wake justin up "keep telling your self that clay you both deserve to be happy at some point everyone does and if that happens because you two have each other then that is amazing just admit it to your self, clay you know what you felt when you found him" she said with a smile on her face. was she right did I love Justin was Justin the whole reason I went out there and looked for him, not jess not Hannah but him "your right I do know what I felt relief that he didn't end it that he didn't do something stupid that he couldn't get his self out off nothing else" voice raising a little but not enough to wake Justin up he just moves closer and tightens his arm "ok clay just know when you finally admit it to your self you might get the chance to be happy maybe you both do need each other after all he did said you were the reason he didnt leave not jess just go with your gut ok clay and remember that I forgive you and will always love you but i want you to be happy clay you have been through just as much as everyone else" i close my eyes tight to hold back tears because she was right I did love justin and he basically just said the damn same and I just pushed it aside god he must feel like shit I turn to look at hannah and tell her that she was right but she was good I look at justins sleeping face and I admit it I say it out loud in my head and I get this feeling in my gut I lay a gentle kiss to justins cheeck "god I am so stupid I should have said it when you did justin freaking foley I love you please never scared the shit out of me like that again please"justin puts his still sleeping head on my shoulder and I fall into a peacefull sleep with justin safe right beside me


	6. Chapter 6

I feel someone watching me like you know how your walking down a dark cold street and get this cold creepy feeling shiver that is the feeling. I roll over still tired head still spinning about last night "hey" Justin says "your mom just came in a few minutes ago I don't think she liked the fact I was asleep in your bed with my arm around you" he looks at me with this devilish grin "shit what did she say" putting my head in my hands feeling a massive headache coming on. " just that she wants us both downstairs she really looked pissed what did you do"I just shake my head grab some aspirin from my dresser "stop with the smirks and lets go" as we are walking down the stairs and I hear my parents talking in the kitchen trying to hide their yelling "he has a boy asleep in bed with him" i hear my mom say "morning mom and dad" i walk over kiss my mom on the cheek like it was any other morning "this is justin he needed some help with homework last night sorry i forgot to say something we both were up until 3" as I walk over to get me and justin coffee they both are too quite this early in the morning "clay we need to talk about last night you can't run out the door like you did it scared us both after everything we thought you knew better than that so on the note what is going on I want the full story from the both of you" my mom said as she is staring whole in justin and me. I look at Justin as if to ask permission to tell them everything "sorry about that Mrs. And Mr. Jensen that is on me clay left his phone at Jessica's from when we were all watching movies I was waiting out front for him and I asked him if he wouldn't mind helping me do my homework get my grades up for basketball other ways I would be benched for the rest of the season" with that shit eating grin of his, to both of our surprise my parents believe him." ok I have to go I guess I'll see you guys tonight Justin your staying for dinner tonight" she gives us all a big smile grabs her bag walking to the door "oh one more thing Justin you will sleep in the spare room whenever you stay over" she smiles again and leaves I get up heading up to stairs for a shower "hold up your mother may believe but I sure don't i was up when you both got back do either of you want to tell me what really happened last night" justin looks scared at of his damn mind and to be honest it was fucking funny and refreashing. "look dad justin just needed someone to talk to about some stuff and he thought I would understand it a little better than jess or zach so he called me and we ended back here last night nothing happened no one got hurt we didn't do anything that would get us in trouble" my dad looks at justin and he shakes his head "ok guys just next time leave a note or something you know how your mother has been worring nowadays" he grabs his keys and heads out the door. justin just busted out laughing which the whole thing was funny but this was not the time to laugh, I sit down at the table across from him "Justin what was last night really about what was all the shit you were saying i know I said I would give you some time but now is the time to talk about this" Justin just lowers his head " look clay it was stupid really I know I scared that crap out of you guys but I just felt like i needed to leave for jess for Hannah's family for you I just needed to breathe again but when I ran into you last night and you said all that stuff I realized I didn't need to leave I needed to talk with you guys I needed to help you guys get through this together and yes i meant what I said last night about us I didn't want to make it weird or anything but I felt like I had to say it for both of us clay I know you loved Hannah and I loved jess but I don't know why..." I just walked around the table and kissed Justin he was shocked but didn't pull away he just pulled me in closer setting me on his lap "clay god damn Jensen if you don't take your ass upstairs right now" he starts bitting my neck and didn't want to but I had to stand up and back away before my dad come back "Justin, we are not doing that right now I wanted to see if I would like it and I do don't get me wrong but I want to take this slow to let's see how this goes because I do really really like you and I don't want to mess this up so can you handle that for me" Justin comes walking over to me pushes me against a wall " ok clay I can do that but only for you I don't want to ruin this either what ever this is but just know I do like you too and we can take as long as you need us too " he kisses me on my cheek and I sigh "thank you I am going to take a cold shower to eat or drink whatever you want" "I would join you but we are talking it slow" justin says pressing against my back kissing my neck again " alright enough go watch tv ill be back in a few mintues I run up the stairs I really need that cold shower justin will be the death of me if he keeps this thing up...


	7. Chapter 7

I walk out the shower to my room in just a towel knowing justin was downstairs watching tv i push the door shut behid me amd lay down on my bed just thinking about how my parents have acted after what felt like hours which in reality it was just a few minutes i grab a shirt and sweatpants and throw them on "clay i am ordering pizza i am straving" justin yells up the stairs i just shake my head i know he just ate how can he be straving "yea ok the menu is on the fridge" walking down the stairs i already see him with the menu in hand and phone to ear i just laugh as i walk past him to put my coffee cup in the stink he grab me by my waist and pulls me into a blissful kiss the kind you melt into " you know i dont think I'll ever get tired of kissing you when ever i want" he says smiling "your a dork" we head into the living room to watch a movie until the pizza got here. "Ok what do you wanna watch we got horror action etc." Justin look at me finger tapping against his chin "i dont know i seen almost all of your movies already" really god he has only been here what a day what the hell i just shake my head "fine we can watch tv" he goes and lays down on the couch i go and sit in the chair in the corner of the room "clay" justin sound like he is trying to say something without saying it all at the same time his face says it all tho so i get up and i walk over and lay down woth him my back against his chest and his head on my shoulder arm around my belly just like last night but for some reason this time it feels different about 30 minutes in to the movie i starting thinking all over again "justin are you awake?" I roll over to look at him " whats up jensen" there is the kicked puppy look " you know we have to tell the others your safe and alive i don't think any of them slept last night they were really worried about you" he lets out a breath and closes his eyes "i know but can it wait until later i want to enjoy this moment for a little long" i cant help but smile " ok we don't have to tell them when i found you or where you were that can stay between us" i said moving a little closer "yea that sounds good" i reach up and kiss him with a smile on his face. We start making out movie long forgotten " i am not complaining but i thought you wanted to take this slow jensen" i put on my best flirty smirk " i can stop right now and say screw it go back to the chair it was nice to have some room to move " i say laughing. He wraps both arm around me tight "nah i think i like you right here in arm reach" he says between the kisses he puts on my neck i can't help but moun he sure knew what he was doing wait is he really hard already "justin i want to speed this up a little can we please go to my while our room please i need you" i whisper slowly in his ear. Justin's face is pure shock so i get up so i can walk around the couch and up the stairs stopping every now and again to see if you was behind me or not so i walk in my room and as soon as i get through the door there is justin pressed right up against me again and i was relieved " you know jensen you have an amazing ass " he says as he is grabbing hand fulls of my ass, i let out a moun the must have turn him on because the next thing i knew i was up against the door with justin kissing my neck and i laugh "clay are you for real right now" justin says stopping all movement " i am sorry its just justin freaking foley is turning me on right now with his prefect body his prefect shit eatting grin its all prefect i thought it was a joke for a minute but now with you against my junk the way you are i know this is really happening and i am so freaking happy" we slow move our way over to the bed trying not to fall over anything not breaking the kiss once justin lays me on the bed so gently its unlike him like he is enjoying taking his time for once " good i like when your happy your eyes get this little shine to them that makes them look brighter then ever" justin slips his hand under my shirt and it feel so freaking awesome "clay i forgot... Oh my god" me and justin bolt apart throwing a pillow over my hard on "MOM! its not what it looks like" she turns around and shuts the door


	8. Chapter 8

"Shit clay i am sorry i shouldn't have came on to you like that" justin saying putting his hand over mine i couldn't do this not right now "justin just get out please i need to get dressed" justin steps away "clay it will be fine she is your mom you know she does love you without a second thought" why is he talking to me in the tone i am not a wild animal "i cant do this right now" i put my head in my hands i can't lose my parents over this her face there was so much pain in her eyes i look up and justin is gone i get dressed and head down stairs ready with excuse after excuse for anything mom has to say "clay can you come into the kitchen we need to talk" i hear my mom yell i guess she wants to get this over with too. I walk into the kitch and i see justin with his head down hands in his lap and my parents sitting on the other side of the table both just have this disappointing look going on, "let me say this first before you say anything what you just seen in my room is not at all what it looked like i triped and justin tired to catch me but we both fell on the bed thats it" i state as i take a sit next to justin i almost believe my self "clay are you syre thats what happened think real hard and good before you answer" is she really using a sweet motherly tone right now after what she just saw "mom thats what happened" justin is looking at me for help i really hope they believe me "ok clay we believe you but how about last night your mother went to close your door amd seen justin and you asleep in the bed with his arm wrapped around you did he trip that time" "Dad i mean mr.jensen last night i had a nightmare and clay was trying to keep me calm i must have done it out of reflex when my ex and i would fall asleep i always wrapped my arm around her sir" why does he have to bring jess up i should slap the fuck out of his ass right in front of them "clay is that true" "yes mom i am not gay you don't have to worry" i storm out the kitchen and up stairs to my room *beep* what now i roll over amd fish my phone out my pocket.

**jess added you to a group chat**  
Jess-movie night tonight? i dont think i can be alone tonight  
Zach- hell yes  
Alex- sounds good  
Justin- count me there!  
What the fuck is he even thinking they think he is gone what the hell,  
*group chat*   
Jess- JUSTIN YOU ARE ALIVE thank god are you ok are you safe  
Justin-jess i am safe just count me to be there tonight ok ill explain everything   
Me-jesus justin where the fuck have you been you had us all worried sick about you your an asshole!  
Justin- ill see everyone at 8  
Jess- thats a good point clay what the fuck justin!!  
I look at the clock it was already 7 so i decide to start getting ready " MOM I AM GOING TO JESS'S FOR A MOVIE NIGHT JUSTIN GET YOUR ASS READY WE ARE LEAVING IN 20 MINS!!" I yell downstairs with an ok from them i shut the door to start getting dressed as i am pulling on some comfortable jean justin walks in i don't know why i cover my dick he already seen it she smiles and grabs him charger and wallet of my end table and leaves but not before slapping me on my bare ass with a nice ass being whispered and he shuts the door "asshole!" I yell through the door.

It was a quite long ride to jessicas but we make it there with no problem and of course we were the last ones to show up as we pull in the drive way jessica comes running out the door to met us with zach and alex at the door waiting "what the fuck justin" jess says as she pulls him in a hug than slaps him stund faces from all of us "if you ever do that shit again ill fucking kill you my self got it" she says it with so much love in it but just the equal amount of anger behind it  
"Jesus you didn't have to slap me like a bitch jess i miss you too" i can't help but laugh at him and she turns that rage on me with a flash of fire in her eyes "you! why is he showing up with you? You knew where he was and you didnt say anything you knew i was freaking out and you didnt tell me clay what the fuck" i back up with my hand up she was pissed but i deserve it i do i did keep her worried because i didnt tell them he was save "jess its not on him can we go inside and talk please yelling out here is just going to wake your parents up and thats a shit storm id like to advoid if all possible"


	9. Chapter 9

After a long need talk justin finally told them everything from where he went to him staying at my house which made everyone was pissed at both of us they say they understand why we did what we did but you could tell by the looks they gave each other they couldn't wrap their minds around it all jess keeps asking the same question 'why did you choose clay over us we could have help you too' but really she is saying why didnt you choose me i thought you loved me but we go on about movie night we decide to watch truth or dare. Jess takes the recliner and alex and zach take the floor by jess which leaves me and justin on the love seat. I look over to jess and we make eye contract and i couldnt help my self but feel bad her eyes so betrayed so hurt, before i can stop my self i mouth 'sorry' she avoids making eye contract and wipes away a tear the seemed to fall i don't know if its a happy tear or the hurtful tears you can't come back from. "I want to play truth or dare now" alex says as he pauses the movie "i am in" zach is the first to speak up of course he would be in looking like a kid in a candy store jumping up and down on the floor, jess and justin both do the famous eye roll but agree to play so here we are on the floor of her room with a stupid bottle on the floor. This just bring back memories of hannah and i look around and i don't see her like i normally would and i let out a sigh of relief maybe we both moved it it was time to. "Hello earth to clay" jess says as she waves her hand in my face "truth or dare" she says with a worried voice "truth" alex claps his hands "i got this one guys!" Shit what does he have up his sleeve that grin is scaring me "is it true you have or had a crush on anyone in this room" he says while there is a mischeif grin on his face what does he know does he know about me and justin some how but how could his they only ones that know are me justin and my parents "yes" i say shyly and everyone eyes go to jess ok so maybe they don't know anything thank god! "Ok my turn right" with a nod from everyone i spin the stupid bottle and it lands in between justin and zach, boys being boys they do rock paper scissors for who takes it zach wins thank god because i have so many truths for justin right now. "Ok zach truth or dare" "dare" he says pushing out his chest "ok since alex brought up crushs i dare you to text or call the person that you are crushing on and tell them." Zachs face goes paper white "thats a good dare clay i would like to know who your crushing on zach" jessica says with a joyful smile on her face so zach types out the text and shows everyone that he wrote what he was suppose to and he sends it, never showing the number then he spins and it lands smack dead on justin. Zach gets a scary but curious look on his face "truth or dare foley" justin seem to be thinking it over and then sits up and with his signature smirk simply says "dare" zach looks a little shocked at his reply but goes on whispering with jess since she was right next to him after a few minutes if jess laughing they finally decide on a dare "i dare you to admit who in this room you think is the most sexy" both jess and him have big smiles on their faces but justin being justin he stands up and he starts to walk around the circle a few times then stop behid me, i can feel my face going red but then he walks across our little what to be circle and he grabs zachs face and kisses him with a shock gasp from everyone including jess zach starts kissing back but justin breaks the kiss and sits back down next to zach with a smirk on his face and shock still on everyone elses he spins the bottle.


	10. Chapter 10

I get the urge to get up and leave the room but my eyes are glued on the bottle slowly spinning on the floor i was hurt that justin choiced to kiss zach when zach never said kiss he said admit who was sexy not freaking kiss them he did it to get a reaction from me and god damn it he got it, shit the bottles slowing please don't stop on me please don't stop on me SON OF A BITCH! Just my luck right "jensen your turn again truth or dare" justin foley was and is a fucking asshole "dare foley" he looks atound the room at everyone and everything and his eyes land back on me "i dare you to kiss alex on the lips for more than 10 seconds" alex coughs on his drink and shoots justin a hateful look "really justin" alex says with venom in his voice but pay back is a bitch so fuck you foley i climb into alexs lap and i kiss him both hands on his cheeks and head tilted up alex dont kiss back right away until i grab his both lip in my teeth and he lets out a wonderful moun. He puts one hand on my back and one on my leg and deepens the kiss both getting into it until alex realizes he is getting hard me i don't care this will permanently fuck with justin seeing alex get hard just from me kissing him, finally break apart and i take my seat right next to him with alex blushing like crazy while trying to cover himself up with complete failure. "that was freaking hot" jess says being the first to recover from mine and alexs little show justin and zach just kept looking back in forth from each other to me and alex i just smirk and get up acting like my phone was ringing and i was out the door i go into the kitchen and throw cold water on my face what the hell did i just do i just made out with alex and it was amazing i feel somones hand on my shoulder then a head lies down on it hands on my arms, by the painted nails i knew it was jess "i just want you to know clay its ok i am not mad and i don't hate you and you can come to me whenever you want to talk about whatever that just was" she grabs a few sodas from the fridge and heads back upstairs. Why did her words fill me with such joy such pride i trow on water on my face and head back upstairs sending a quick text 'we are most likely going to stay at jessica's tonight i got my house keys goodnight mom' when i walk back in the room everyone has switch spots alex is by zach with jessica on the other side and justin where alex was "sorry about that mom wanted to know what time i was planning on coming home" i sit back down in my spot and open the soda alex passes me with a nod. "Ok now that everyone is here jess its your turn spin that bottle" zach says sipping his soda she spins it happily and it lands on zach "truth or dare Zachary"she sings in a loving tone "umm truth i guess" "is it true you and alex has a thing going on like friends with a little something something on the side or are you guys banging everynight" zach's face is priceless "JESSICA!" alex says while covering his face "what it is a prefectly fine question i mean he got mad when u and clay made out i just want to know and i sure justin would like to know too since he did kiss zach" "we been together for abt two months" what the hell when was zach gay?? "Really wow thats awesome you guys really do make an amazing couple and besides being gay is the new thing and its hot anyways" jessica says while looking at me with a knowing smile i look away and notice justin is staring at me again why did she have to say that.


	11. Chapter 11

"Ok on that note my turn"zach says trying to stop this conversation in its tracks and gives the bottle one good spin. Coming to a stop faster then normal and lands on justin "justin my good friend truth or dare" justin look a little tired of the game "dare" justin says lying down putting his head in jessicas lap and feet on my lap zach gets a evil look in his eyes "zachary play nice" jess says in her mother like tone. "Fine anyways i dare you justin to make out with my dear clay jensen" zach says crossing his arms "guys this whole kissing thing is really weird" alex finally speaks up since we made out. Justin being his cocky self reachs up grabs my face and kiss me the most blissful kiss ever so need so rush so out of sync but it felt prefect and i relaxed into it his kiss felt like a spell i couldnt break from until the world melted away and it was just us there in the room until i felt justins hand goes to the bottom of my shirt, like a rubber band i snap back to reality i jump back from justin "i didn't think that would happen like that" zach look stupidly at alex "ok lets make a fort and finish watching this movie i never seen it" jessica says as her and alex get up and start throwing pillows on the floor and grabbing blankets we move somethings around to make it big enough for everyone and we all lie down together alex lies down head towards the tv zach jess and the rest of us all lay like normal people alex is the only non normal person here as of right now by the time the movie ends everyone is knocked out asleep but here i am wide awake again just staring at the movie menu play over and over again i hear some whimpering from someone to my right. To be honest it was the cuties thing ever alex has his arm around zachs legs,one of zachs arms is wrapped around jess the other on alex, jessicas head on zachs chest and then there is justin just lying be himself but so peaceful when he is asleep its like you can see what he looks like happy and at peace with himself the way his hair just slightly falls over his hairs its a Nice change tho from his shorter hair, the way he can see him looking around in his blissful dream world, the way he would wet his lips in his sleep but the most important that i can drag my eyes from is the way his breath would hitch every so often. God when did i fall so hard for him that i am memorized by the way he sleeps its creep but he does not have to know right? Right. I see his eyes start to open i quickly close my eyes so he does not know i was watching him but when i feel him move close and place a steady hand on my cheek and whispers the most quite 'goodnight love' and lays down right next to me we both fell asleep for good hr that night before getting woke up by alexs kicking justin and me i look over to see him and zach cuddling jess so peaceful tho. I decide to go sit outside for a few minutes and just relax but when i start to get up justin arm shoots across my chest i len down and whisper 'i gotta piss justin ill be back' wich was a half truth but still he body is give off too much heat right now he finally rolls over and goes back to sleep i grab my phone off the drawer and head outside, as i am seating outside i start thing maybe what happens between me and justin ain't that bad jess and the others didn't seem to mind us near sex encounter infront of them hell they all looked happy about it all. Justin really is a nice guy now that i got to know him alot better i was wrong the whole time he wasn't a douche bag or a dick head he was just hurting and didn't know how to ask anyone for help turning to the partys to the booze and drugs was he break from his life meth seth was a fucking dick head hurt that sweet boy like that and then his mother just walk away and let it happen what the hell justin is one messed up kid but i am messed up too so that has to count for something right? Maybe me finding justin was fates way of giving justin and out i never what anything like that to happen to him again that is some messed up shit i want to be there for him whenever he needs it no matter what if it means being a friend being some one to hold or just someone to release stress with i don't care i want to protect justin to show him not everyone is like what he thinks that some people actually care about him and wants the best from him "clay are you ok i was waiting for you to come back" justin says as he takes a seat one the swing with me "yea sorry just thinking is all" i give him my best smile. When he pulls me against him and wraps him arms arounds me "clay i know alot has happened between us not all of it im proud of but the last two days from the time you ran into me at my moms to right now i am proud of those moments even when your mom almost caught us in your room that moment was a bad one but i am proud of it because the way your cheeks turned right and the way you got all shy" i punch his arm half heartly "asshole" he laughs at that "let me finish i knew i wanted to see more of it i still do clay i have had the best times of my life with you, you have honestly truly made me happy to be alive to be my self but tonight with the kiss upstairs i realized i like you i mean i like like you fuck it clay i think i fell in love with you i know you may think i am not worth loving but i would like to give this a real shot at something amazing with you i cant think of a day i won't think of you even when i was ready to leave this town and leave everything behind i couldn't bring my self to leave you you were the reason i was going to my moms you see before i left after seth beat the bloody shit out of me i stole his money its in my bag in your room i was going to put it back i still am going to put it back i know what your think what the fuck justin why would you do something so freaking stupid but clay if you want to give this thing what ever it is a try i am game even if you don't its ok" i sit up and look him right in the eye i can see the tears i can see how much he truly means it, i can see how much he wants to have something good in his life how lonly he is " so does this make us boyfriends then?" I say climbing in his lap "if thats what you want clay its all up to you" he says as he relaxs into the swing "i do want to give this a real shot justin but if we want this to work we can't hid anything from one an other it will only destory us in the end and i love you to you cocky asshole" i len down and kiss him its not a rushed kiss but a slow sweet kiss sealing our agreement of no more lies no more hiding "now that thats out the way can we go inside and go to bed its a little chilly out here" i say getting up grabbing Justin's hand


	12. Chapter 12

When we made it back to jessicas room we notice jess zach and alex all moved up to the bed i guess they didn't like the floor so me and justin moved around the blankets on the floor for just us two and finally lay down with me head on justin chest and justins hand making little circle on my lower back we doze right off the sleep we didn't think about what tomorrow will bring us because we knew we had each other to go through it together. That stupid ucking sunlight coming in from somewhere was pissing me off it felt like i just went to sleep as if justin could read my mind he rolls over on his side and blocks the hash lighting and i doze back off, i finally get up back of justin was giving off to must heat again the i was sticking to his chest it was gross i look around and see jess alex and zach have all got up and left the room i place a gentle kiss to justins head and head to the bathroom to do my bussiness i hear a knock at the door not even 30 seconds later "in here" i say tired with a bit of anger "i know baby but i need to piss bad" i hear justin say i finnish up and unlock the door to let him in while i wash my hands "you know i meant everything i said last night i wasnt pulling your leg or anything" he says facing me while putting his dick back in his pants he walks over to me and kisses me goodmorning as i am walking out the bathroom and head downstairs "morning clay we made breakfest and coffee there is more in the kitchen if zach didn't hit it all" jess says with a disapointed look at zach, he throws his hands up in defeat "anyways my parents done left so justin is safe to come down" she says with another eye roll "cool thanks" justin say behind me as he puts his head on my shoulder "umm guys we like to tell yall something" i say as i rub the back of my head "we all know" alex says popping bacon in his mouth. " yall know what?" Justin plays dumb while pour us coffee "that you amd clay are together we figured it out when yall kissed last night and then this morning the way you two were sleeping which by the way was fucking cute as hell" jess says sweetly me and justin just look at each other just laughing "so i want to try this new club and all of you are going no buts" alex says bouncing up and down like a child getting ice cream. Me amd justin decide to go home get a few thing down before alex drags us to this so called club oh how fun not.

As i pull up to the drive way justin starts getting real weird "justin if your worried about what my parents have to say don't ok" i place a quick kiss to his cheek and get out the car i don't see their cars so there is really nothing to fear i unlock the door and head upstairs for a change of clothes and a shower as i walk into the bathroom i hear justin coming up the stairs so i leave the door cracked enough for him to see me getting undress but wjen i turn around the door is fully closed. Which was even more weird the way justin has been the past couple of days he would have jump at the chance like i would have. I finish my shower and head to my who am i kidding our room what i heard was not what i ever wanted to hear the faint sneaky 'i love you too' pissed me off as i swing open the door in anger justin quickly hangs up his phone "who was that justin you gotta get dressed you got to meet my mom remember?" I say trying to sound normal but by the way justin hides his face i tried and failed "oh um it was jess just want to let us kno they want to grab dinner before go to the club thats all" really does he think i am stupid we just left her house not even 45 mins ago what the hell is he hidding i thought we agreed no more secrets "oh yea i am cool with that i got to go do a few thing but ill meet you back here later ok" with a nod he walks out the room saying something about a shower i couldn't hear with the blood boiling in my ears. I hear the shower turn on and the door shut. I don't know what came over me but i went over to where justin was just a minute ago and start looking for his phone what don't say you wouldn't do the same it was weird how fast he hide the phone when i walked in right? Surprisingly i cant find it so he took his phone with him to the shower whatever i am probably just over reacting but i still can't shake the feeling like he is hiding something from me. I grab my keys and walk out the door and call jess "hey so about this club where is it at and what are we suppose to wear?" "Really clay its a club put some good clothes on"she says kinda annoyed "what the hell does that even mean" i give my best pleading voice "you know what don't ill be there before we leave ill pick them out for you and justin you both have really poor judgement on clothes" jess says mischief clear in her voice what have i got my self into shaking my head i agree anyways and go on with my day just 3 hrs until my parents will be home 6 hrs before jess will show up great...

**AUTHORS NOTE  
Sorry for the wait guys another chapter should be up later today much love -the1unknown**


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **AUTHORS NOTE  
> So i was on youtube today i wrote the end of this chapter to this song kinda catchy i think ,i like it and it kinda fits with the ending the song is called "i kissed a boy" by cobra starship- the1unknown**

Here i am lying on the couch watching justin play on the ps4 and i still can't get the feeling that he is hiding something as i am thinking everything over there is a knock on the door probably jess so i went up and answer the door and i was right it was jess "what is with all the bags jess?" I as i grab a few bag to help her out "oh i went shopping because like i said on the phone earlier you both have terrible teaste in fashion so here i am" rolling her eyes in disgust just think about mine and justin's fashion sense i look over and all the color is drained from justins face "you guys talked on the phone earlier" with a hint of fear "yea when i left earlier i called her about the club what we should wear thats all" i try and keep my anger from showing because i know he thought i asked her about the so called dinner plans which i never said a word about "so she went shopping because why dress horrible" he says with a smile on his face how dare he try and joke right now as i walk back to the couch and sit down jess throws a pair of dark blue acid washed jeans and a light blue and black flannel shirt at me "go try them on i think they are the right size i had to guess" i throw my head back and moun "why can't i wear my normal clothes" i say as i walk up the stairs "because clay its a clay not an emo party!" She yells up after me laughing "oh fuck you!" I yell back shutting the door to get dressed. I got to admit i look good i think as i roll the shelves up on the shirt just above my elbows. As i walk back down the stairs i see justin wearing a freash white t-shirt with the same pants as she gave me with a dark blue and grey flannel and god damn did he look good "so what do you guys think" as i walk fully into the living room justin jaw drops and jess whistles "that is what i am talking about clay show them goods off" jess says walk around me in vircles the jeans are a little tight but i can deal with them for a few hours they did show my ass off good as i look up at justin i notice his pants are getting tighter by the point "jensen you are keeping them pants" justin states as he pick up his jaw from the ground "ok now hair time boys fix them mops well i get dressed" jess orders as she walk up stairs to what i guess is my room because as she would say has the best mirror. "Yes sir" justin fakes salutes at her she just flips me off as she makes it to the top of the stairs i go into the hallway to the mirror we have there and start trying to get my hair right how i want it but justin had to slap my hands away to slik it back and to the side a little then pushes me out the way with a quick kiss and a 'there even hotter if thats possiable' he starts spiking his hair. I go into the living room to sit back on the couch to wait for jess to be ready 5 minutes later justin comes walking back in having his hair just right. Why does he have to make it so hard to be pissed at him yes its something stupid but still he looks fucking prefect from his hair to the way his shirt hugs his body it was overwhelming to see. After a good hour of justin yelling at the tv because he keeps getting killed something about call of duty being fucking bullshit cheater something along those lines jess finally walks down stairs wear a snug fitting black dress with blue at the bottom her hair straightened, not to much make up just some lip stick it looks like and show stuff on her eyes but she look fine and she knew it "you guys can stop staring now we gotta go alex and zach are waiting" she says while putting in her last ear ring i look at justin and to jess think how the hell could he have messed it up with her i mean look at her god damn finally coming back to reality i grab my key wallet and phone from the coffee table and head out the door with justin and jess right behind me. Jess declares that since me and justin are together justin has to ride upfront and be my co poilt even without justin knowing where we are going he just plays with the radio and laughs as me and jess start singing along to what ever comes on the radio, jess finally makes justin give up the radio and plugs her phone in going to you tube playing random songs and one song comes on i think it was 'i kissed a boy' i can't remember by who but justin starts laughing harder as me and jess really get into the song to be fair it did have a nice beat to it when finally pull up to the club getting out we notice zach and alex wearing basically the same thing as me and justin just different colors "i see jess made you guys wear what she got too" alex says laughing as him and zach walks up to meet us "yea she said our sense of fashion was horrible" justin says shaking his head "you used the same card on them too" zach states while hugging jess "wow jess good Jedi mind trick" i laugh out "jensen your a damn nerd but a sexy nerd" justin whispers in my ear send shivers down my neck "ok enough talking lets start drinking" jess yells as she pulls alex and zach to the main door it was a little wait but we finally was able to get in the club and it was packed you could hardly see the dance floor or the bar but jess dives straight into the sea of half naked body and finds the bar we all order some shots right after my first shot the burn of it sliding down my throat was refreshing i felt a little more alive. Everyone orders another drink and starts to find a place to calm ours i take my jin and tonic and justins whiskey and fellow everyone over to a dark corner that seems to have disagreed with everyone else not a soul in that little corner it was like our own vip area. We all sit down and enjoy our drinks and talking about stupid shit we all did back in the day after about 15 minutes alex and jess both drag everyone to the dance floor. Dancing like stupid drunk college kids was fun but all that fun stopped when i lost track of justin i ask jess and zach if they seen where he went but no one knew so i go check out side and justin has a girl pressed up against the brick wall mear inches apart giving her that famous justin smile that gets him out of trouble all the time i was frozen in place i couldn't bring myself to move, "hey clay did you find justin ye....." Alex says but stops when he sees the scene in front of us. He pulls his self together quick and drags me back into the club yelling about you need a hard drink but all i could think was 'this is war game on bitch' as i look around the club i notice a guy staring at me with a sweet smile it looks like he has dark blonde hair a little stubble on his face he body was jacked when he moved his arm to wave at me i was scared his black t-shirt would rip from how tight it was on him showing every muscle every hard ab showing everything just right. I start to walk to meet him hearing someone yell my name but did not give a fuck i wanted pay back i wanted justin to feel what i did just a few minutes ago. As i meet him in the middle of the dance floor i don't know what got into me maybe it was the shots maybe it was anger i don't know but when i slammed my lips against his feeling his hand on my waist his other one my ass was amazing. The kiss was messy full of need and anger full of everything i been feeling i just let it out in the one kiss, when we broke apart for air i really look at him and he was beautiful "my name is nathan by the way" he says into my ear hands still were they first went "oh umm clay shit i am sorry i don't know what that was all about" i say stepping away "its not me you should be explaining it to its your friends over there give us both death glares" nathan yells i turn around and i see alex jess and zach standing behind me with a shocked look on their faces but the one that got me the most was justin's face right behind all three of them pure hate on his face the way he left eye lid would jump made it even better at that moment that song from earlier popped in my head 'i kissed a boy and i liked it'


	14. Chapter 14

Justin turns around and walks out of the club he look actually the way i just did completely destroyed but i still get this feeling deep down that it was wrong of me to kiss another guy without finding out justins side of the story but the way he was pressed up against that chick said it all "clay what the hell " zach says pissed off alex inserts himself inbetween zach and myself "zach you don't know the whole story behind it neither do i but i know it has to be a good reason right clay" jess ask anger and understanding in her voice why are they trying to make me the bad guy here justin was the one that started this all i know is i can't deal with them right now so the only choice i have is to leave thats what i do as i walk outside of the club the chill night air feels amazing against my hot skin i walk over to my car but decide to call an uber instead of driving i may not be drunk but i know i am not sober enough to drive as i wait for my uber i get a text from alex 'i understand what happened and why but did you really have to do it like that let me know when you get home safe don't drive' i don't even bother with a reply my uber shows up in time to escape jess coming out of the club the ride home was short but sweet i quietly open the front door careful not to wake my parents if there are sleeping the tv is on so i don't think dad is in his room i walk up the stairs two at a time sleep calling my name but when i opened my door i didn't expect to see what was infront of me justin laying on the floor needle in his arm passed out "MOM DAD HELP!!" i yell as i run over to justin and roll him on his side he looks so pale "clay are you ok JUSTIN! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED CLAY!" My mom says dropping down next to justin trying to wake him up "justin you gotta wake up for me clay call 911" my dad states i run out of the room and call 911 the cops and emt waste no time in showing up they made my mom and me leave the room next thing i know they start yelling about a pulse and a heart beat then they are out the door with justin in tow my dad jumps in with justin while me and mom fellow behind in her car i cant see straight all i keep thinking is why? Was it my flaut? Did he do this because i kiss another guy? How long has he been doing this? Why didn't i see it sooner? I cant lose him not like this we make it to the hospital doctors asking questions i don't pay them any more i hear them mumble something about me being in shock but i didnt care i wanted justin to be ok after about 45 mins of qeustions and short responses from my parents the cops and doctors leave i don't know when but at some point i pass out in the waiting room. I jolt up out of the chair i was sitting in i feel my moms hand on my arm "clay swert heart its ok you both are safe justin is in good hands he will be fine" i hear my mom say and it all come rushing back like a titlewave i couldn't help the tears that fell my mom wraps me in her arms and slowly rocks in the uncomfortable chairs trying her best to calm me down all the while trying to keep her self together "mom i did this i let justin leave without me i let him go off by his self i let this happen i didn't see it sooner i could have helped him" more tears come down even harder this time "clay this is not your flaut me and your father didn't see this either justin needs help but its the kind we can't give him the most we can do right now is wait and pray that he makes it and we gotta love him with everything we got we have to show him that we care and will still be here for him when he wakes up its importanted for him to know he is not alone any more he has you he has friends and he has us but its also importent for you to know this is no way your flaut it was justins choice yes it was a stupid one but it was his to make he could have asked for help" she says wiping a tear from her eye "family of justin Foley" a nurse calls out we all stand up at once "how is he doing" my mom asks holding my arm "well he is resting right now we had to put him through alot along with the heroin in his system we also found some pills and some alcohol we went ahead and pumped his stomach he will need to stay for 24 hrs as of right now we are not sure of any damage until he wakes up but if you guys would like to see him ill be more the happy to show you to his room for a few minute but i have to warn you the state he is in looks worse then it is right now you will see alot of tube and monitors but he is alive" thank god he is alive "can you take us please"my mom asks holding my hand releasing a breath she didnt know she was holding as we get to justin room it was breath taking justin has a tube down his throat and monitors all around his bed loud beeping can be heard from the quite room i take the chair next to his bed and i cant help to cry against i nearly kissed him i should have asked him about the chick i shouldnt have just went off and kissed another guy "clay i am going to take your mom to grab some coffee and food we will be right back ok dont leave this room until we get back ok" my dad orders as he places a hand on my shoulder where the fuck am i going to go this is the only place i want to be i don't want to be away from him they both walk out and shut the door i grab justins hand in mine and place a gently kiss to it and set it back down never letting go i feel my phone go off in my pocket i read the text from alex 'clay man its been almost 2 hrs since you left us i hope your ok and didn't do anything stupid call me' so i decide to send a group text to jess zach and alex 'i am fine but justin is not he almost OD on haroin and pill we are at the hospital now they said he will be ok but will not now anymore until he wakes up' i turn my phone off not want to deal with them at the moment but i go back to looking at justin. The nurse from earlier comes in and check justin over "you know it might help him to talk to him i know he would be happy is boyfriend is here with him" she states with a knowing look as he write some thing down on a clipboard "oh we aint together he is just a friend" i say look her over she is a short women abt 4'9 dirty blonde hair she looks young around her late 20s "the way your holding his hand so tight right now says different but i don't mind it you guys look cute together ill be back with some fresh blankets and pillows" with that she walks out of the door i look down at my hand sure enough i am holding justins hand so tight it has a little shade of purple i let out a little laugh and sit back and wait thats all i can do until he wakes up


	15. NOTE

Ok guys srry for the wait but i am a little stuck got too many ways this could end gotta pick one but its a little hard dont want to end this just yet but feels like i should


	16. AUTHORS NOTE

Ok guys i been typing these chapters on my phone so we are going to have to wait until i get enough money to get a new laptop i had mine stolen a little while back and havent been able to get enough money yet hints the 2 jobs but i am almost there just hang in there guys


	17. AUTHORS NOTE

Quick update i am getting my new laptop tomorrow morning after work ill start writing the next charpter friday morning should be up by friday night again sorry for the wait guys -the1unknown


	18. Chapter 18

Justin's POV

as I walk out the club I want to punch something or someone how the hell could clay do that to me in front of everyone I thought everything was going well between us. I thought we were happy, I thought we could actually make this work but I was stupid to believe it nothing good ever stays with me. I was so stupid to believe he loved me the way he said he did it was a lie just like everyone else that ever said it.

" Justin hey wait up" please for the love of god do not let it be clay, please. As I turn around I see no other than Bryce fucking walker, of course, could this night get any worse.

" What the fuck do you want Bryce I am not in the mood for your shit right now so if your here to run your mouth walk the fuck away right now "I state fist ready at my side right to knock the fucking sideways smile off his damn face.

" Take it easy there man I saw what happened I just wanted to see if you are ok that was really fucked up," Bryce says hands up. I let out a calm breath and loosen my hands giving the palm of my hands a break from my nails digging into them. 

" Yea i am good nothing to worry about " I say rubbing the back of my neck and of course he knows there is more I known him since we were kids he knows when I am lying through my teeth but he doesn't call me out on it just simple nods his head and pulls a smoke out from beyond his ear. I wonder how long that has been there I know the club was hot as hell.

I sit down on the curb hoping he was done and would go back into the club but I hoped wrong he sits down next to me and just stares at me what was creepy even for Bryce.

" You know what you need to do to get back at for that bullshit in there, go find someone take them home to his bed or in his car and fuck the crap out of him making sure you show him two can play that game and you know you got better game then he does hell ill even hook you up with something to take your mind off of him so you can get back at him that was uncalled for Justin you know I would never let someone do that to you your my brother " Bryce says it like he never hurt me before never made me feel like I was nothing to him or to anyone never made me feel like I had to depend on him for everything that was nowhere near true but taking the edge off and taking the chance of not remembering tonight sounds like a good plan.

" Yeah taking the edge off sounds like a plan I don't want to remember tonight in the morning or ever for that matter I need something strong and fast acting. " I know I shouldn't be doing this or anything like this for that matter I know Bryce's games I felt what happens when you tell Bryce no, but I need to forget this I need to really let loose of everything. bryce digs into his shirt pocket pulls out some pills and this brownish powder in a little baggy. 

"this shit right here is strong I wouldn't do the whole thing if I was you just take a little put it in this spoon and put a lighter under it let it heat up until its not powder anymore then use this needle it can go in your arm feet or hand. " there is that creppy smile once again but I take everything from him with a quite thanks and I walk away heading towards clays house on the walk I take the pills all 6 of them I didn't care what they were or what they do I must of zoned out because the next thing I know I am at clays walking up to his and my room I hear his parents say something to me but it was unclear I walk into the room shut the door and I put everything Bryce gave me on clays desk I know Bryce will want something for this later on but I don't care if it will help me forget then screw it right??

I do as Bryce says I sit on the floor and I put the needle in my arm and I loosen my belt once the needle was empty I felt like I was in the clouds my mind was empty it was full of clouds and wonderful dreams I felt at peace. I hear clays cries I feel his mom shaking me trying to wake me up but the darkness is welcoming and warm. so I let it take me I let go of everything and enjoy the warmth of this darkness that has been calling my name for so long.

* Back int he hospital room *

my head is banging that god-awful beeping needs to stop where the hell was it even coming room better question where the hell am I whatever I am lying on is uncomfortable and the blanket is itchy and cold but the feeling in my hand is warm and welcoming just like the darkness was i hear a small sounds of pain coming from the side of me I try and open my eyes to see who or what made that sounds but the light was so bright like someone put the sun in the room with me no clouds or anything just the bright painful sun. I finally get enough strength to open my eyes and what I see sickens me but filled me with love all at the same time here I am in a hospital bed in an all-white room with monitors and clay so beautiful so at peace in the chair beside me his hand in mine lying so weird in the small hospital chair I hear the door open up to my room and I try and let go of clays hand but couldn't. so I look over at the door and its the nurse she must not see I am awake she looks so tired I wonder how long so has been working she finally looks over at me and gives me a small smile.

" good to see you awake I am going to get the doctor let him check you over making sure everything is ok " she says walking away but I grab her shirt and look at clay I can feel and see the tube down my throat so I don't try and talk I hope she understands what I am trying to say to her.

" oh him he has not left your side since the ambo brought you in he has not really spoken to anyone his parents left last night to get some sleep and get you some things he just fell asleep about 15 minutes ago I can wake him up if you like " she says coming over to feel my head and check my eyes but I shake my head no the best I can. with a smile and a light pat of my arm, she walks out to get the doctor. my mouth feels so dry it feels like my mouth is full of cotton, I look over at clay still sleeping with his head on hanging off the side of the chair and his legs hanging off the other side.

" Mr. Foley its good to see you awake I am doctor Mathew but you can call me matt I am going to remove the tub in your throat so we can talk is that ok " Matt asks as he puts on rubber gloves I nod my head once the tub is out my throat I realize my whole throat and mouth is drier than I first thought. the nurse hands me a small pinkish cup of water and tells me to drink sips do not try to down the drink right away.

" ok here is what we can do until your parents get here we had to pump your stomach and in the process we found somethings that are concerning to us but before I start would you like us to wake him up and take him out of the room for this part " he asks point to clay in the chair next to me but I shake my head no faster then I meant to I could see the nurses small smile.

" ok what about your parents would you like to wait until they get here " he states with a worried look on his face once again I shake my head no I remember a little bit of what happened before I ended up in here and I know all three of them where worried sick about me I don't want to cause them any more pain then i have to right now.

" ok but Justin I have to tell them when they get here you know that right " I nod my head again, why does he keep giving me that face. with a little nod from him he speaks again " Justin what we found was troubling I have to ask these question in order to help you the best we can I know it will be a lot at once so if you don't want to talk anymore just say so when we pumped your stomach we found pills and heroin along with some alcohol all three caused you to almost od you where really lucky they got you here in time Justin my first question is how long have you been drinking the damage to your liver is bad, and if you processed to drink the way I think you do you will either die from liver failure or you will need a new liver whatever comes first " he says a little hurt a little bit of sadness in his eyes. when I heard what he had to say my heart broke in half I was going to die I didn't think it would happen this soon I mean I been drinking since I was little I look at clay next to me still sleeping I almost lost clay again I almost lost everything again.

" Justin, I know its a lot to take in your only 17 and to be faced with this it will feel like your life will end but it won't if you stop drinking and doing the drugs the way you are the recover from this will be long but you have all these people here willing to help you, you have to let them I have seen the love on that boys face right there every time he looked at you sleeping not to mention you have 3 other people out in the waiting room that has not left since they got here they all love and care for you it may not seem that way I don't know your life story but I know a loving family when I see one but I am going to let you think this all over and get some more sleep " he writes a few things on his papers and checks the monitors once more before leaving the room. I feel a little tear run down my cheek and I swipe it away I grab clays hand a little harder trying to keep my self from crying. I close my eyes and try to get some more sleep like Matt said I should I let everything sink in


End file.
